So guess who annoys me? Miss Cleo. Apparently, she annoys the state of Missouri also. Charges are currently being brought against her. Y'all know the deal. Hey guys, let's send NHB a fruit basket. He rawks so hard. Check out:NHB's Interpretation
Missouri sues TV psychic Miss Cleo's hotline
July 26, 2001 Posted: 10:21 AM EDT (1421 GMT)
ST. LOUIS, Missouri (CNN) -- The Missouri attorney general has filed two lawsuits against a television psychic hotline for false advertising (you mean "real radio" was lieing?), fraud(for real?) and other unlawful business practices(as if fraud wasn't enough), alleging the company bilked consumers out of money and caused them significant injury(yep. because of miss cleo, I got mauled by a poodle and I'll never be the same again).
The hotline advertises services by Miss Cleo, who speaks with a Caribbean accent(and a bad one at that) and promises psychic and tarot card readings(hmm, typically for a tarot card reading, doesn't the person have to be there and like shuffle the cards or soemthing?). The commercial, which has been broadcast across the nation, offers to "find the answers for free"( we all know that "free" is a b.s. concept right?) with the slogan "Keepin' it Real."(like beyonce's hair?)
They should've seen it coming, whether they were psychic or not," state Attorney General Jay Nixon(Nixon, eh? Hmm, all of a sudden he seems a bit shady. Hehe) told CNN.
"The fact that they didn't see it coming shows they aren't psychic(So that wasn't obvious in the commercials where she told people a bunch of stuff that they already knew)."
In a suit filed in Jackson County Circuit Court, Nixon charges Access Resource Services Inc., based in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, falsely advertises that certain services -- like tarot readings and psychic readings -- are free(and real), and that no fees will be charged for the first three minutes of a call (They were including how long it takes them to get to the phone. And dern't they're usually eating dinner at the time. You're interrupting and must pay for it with your soul. Credit cards are acceptable also. (Hehe. What the hell am I talking about?)).
He said the company in fact uses the first three minutes to gather a customer's name and phone number(If they're psychics, should they be telling u this?), after which a caller is put on hold to wait for a "psychic" without being advised of the charges(cause when u tell people you're going to rob them, it usually doesn't work very well).
The company also has billed consumers for calls never made or calls made by minors who did not first receive parental consent(why ask permision when they'll just say no?...even though they'll make late night phone calls then blame u for them), Nixon said. The TV ads say the services are only for people older than 18. (But the people at the company have an affilvtion for children. They musn't try to fight these urges. Ken Kaniff sure didn't)
Nixon also said the company has sent bills to people for calls supposedly made after their death(Yeah, they had a phone built into their coffin. Dead people could go for some Dominos and chinese food every now and then too. Those dem discriminating conservatives.(?) hehe).
"These unfair and unlawful practices," Nixon(Someone named Nixon is commenting on unlawful practices. Hmm...) said in the suit, "presented a risk of, and/or have caused, significant injury to consumers(When the psychic told u to put a fork in the socket you weren't suppose to listen, silly.).Nixon is seeking a temporary restraining order(Nah, those don't work. Anyone see that hilarious lifetime-esque movie "Stalking Amy"? I know Willis sure has. She obviously wrote it.) and preliminary injunction to prevent the company from selling or advertising "'psychic' or entertainment services(No more Chippendales?) or pay-per-call services(Does that mean no more 976 numbers? DAMNABLE! THAT'S AN ABOMINATION!) of any stripe(Does that include the zig-zag kind?)."
In the suit filed in St. Louis Circuit Court, Nixon says the company violated Missouri's "telemarketing no-call list"(creative name) law by calling residents who have been placed on a list of customers who do not want telephone solicitations(But the kind made in person are acceptable). Nixon said more than 1.65 million Missourians are covered by the law(1.65 Missourians also prefer Egg Beaters to real eggs).
Nixon alleges 94 such violations of the law. The no-call list is available to any business, Nixon said, but Access Resource Services did not request a copy(And lose money? Never.). The company faces a fine of up to $5,000(Not only is Miss Cleo psychic; but, she's also a grand high wizard(anyone catch that?). I'm sure she can afford it.) for each violation of the no-call law.
"This group isn't really a psychic, obviously," Nixon told CNN. "This is a group that has been very aggressive in telemarketing, not only this product but others(I already explained the 976 numbers predicament)."
Let's Make Fun of People: August